Trash Trucks and Cheeseburgers

*written through tear soaked eyes, 10/15/2021

Sitting down to write this, my precious beloved Stausi is sitting at my feet, her little cheeks puffing with air as she half -barks/ half- whimpers in her sweet dream. I imagine she has no idea what’s to come in the next few days. Today we got the horrific news that due to her fight with seizures over the past couple years, her body has endured some irreversible damage and we must do the unthinkable and lay her to rest.

Telling the kids this new this morning, I knew I wanted to do it without Ryan home. Just the three of us. Well, four including our sweet pup. As Lilly walked out of her bathroom, rounding the corner to the living room, she instantly knew something was wrong. My eyes were swollen from crying, and her brother was sitting patiently waiting to hear whatever it was that I needed to talk to them about. All I got out was “the vet called back…” and Lilly was weak in the knees. I called her over to where Anderson and I were sitting, Stausi perched between us, perfectly close to both of us- not wanting to be too far away from either of us.

This was the worst news I have ever had to give my kids. It was the hardest morning I think we’ve endured together- maybe ever. And I know the worst is yet to come on Monday morning when Ryan will leave with our Stausi and come home alone.

We thought of all the ways we could make her last weekend at home with us as enjoyable as possible. This weekend she turns 7, and so we want to ensure we spoil her, get her all her favorite foods (this means cheeseburgers, pup cups, and lots of TJ treats!), and smother her with all the hugs and love we have to give.

As I heard the garbage truck pass by this afternoon, my heart just sank as her ears perked up. This would be the last time she’d hear that sound at home. This would be the last time I got to see her fury little face smile watching the FedEx guy come to the door, and growl at the pesky squirrel hiding nuts in our pots on the deck (gaw, how I wish she’d get just one squirrel in her life! How happy she’d be!).

So pray for our family as we go through this incredibly tough time. Hug your dogs for us, and never take one of those annoying pesky barks for granted!

Rest in peace sweet Stausi.

Stausi Eugene Hahn 10/16/14-10/18/2021

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