It’s been one month since our sweet Palmer Paige was born. I’ll spare you the birth story, though it is a good one…movie-esque my husband would say. The thing I will forever remember from Palmer’s birth story is just how incredibly supportive, loving, and concerned Ryan was. The look on his face, the touch of his hands, and his sweet kind words will forever be etched into my mind. (Thank you, sweet sweet Ryan!)
So one month into life with a newborn. Ya’ll, it’s been incredibly natural. She has slipped into our life and routine nearly seamlessly. The late nights have been bearable and dare I say, enjoyable! The older kids have been incredibly helpful and fun throughout the past month, not that I’m surprised- they’re great kids! Ryan wears fatherhood well- things have really seemed to come organically to him. I’ve always loved watching him with my Lilly and Anderson, and now seeing him with Palmer has made me fall in love all over again, in the perfect cliche’ kind of way!
The things that have popped up over the past month though, that I wasn’t prepared for are my lingering feelings from my first two births, my pridefullness (it’s a word now) in raising said two kids on my own, and my hardcore dedication to being a working mom. Learning how to now live this new birth story, co-parent alongside Ryan, and digging deeper into my loyalty to a job I don’t especially love or care about anymore are all things that I’ve really had to work through, or am actively learning to work through. Nothing could have prepared me for any of these feelings, insecurities, and even hardships (as a control-freak lunatic, co-parenting is no joke!). Add to this, a global pandemic with a Superman strength variant, and you’ve got yourself an anxiety-ridden Mama!
I am truly so thankful for the past month- the good, the great, and even the hard and the low moments. I am really looking forward to seeing what the next few months will bring us- where we’ll end up personally, professionally, and just overall as a family. I am praying for clarity. I am praying for patience and acceptance as our clarity prayers are answered, and I’m praying that we say “yes” to what is revealed.