Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I don’t do well with disorder and chaos. I appreciate fresh vacuum lines, bleached bed sheets, empty laundry baskets, and kids who are always showered and clean. But obviously I’m a mom, and I’m painfully aware that this cannot always be the case, hard as I may try.
As a self-proclaimed control freak, it is very hard for me to go outside of my normal routine. I thrive on structure, schedules, and familiarity. Sure, the occasional family vacay is necessary, but give me a few days and I’ll be craving my usual Bristoe digs, and familiar spaces of my own house.
This summer we tried to spend time at RM’s favorite spot, his family’s lake house. And trust me when I say I am OVER.THE.MOON excited to be able to share weekends with him at the lake, but as someone who never really got into the “lake life” it was definitely a struggle for me to go outside my comfort zone, especially when the kids were in tow as well.
In addition to living out of an overnight bag on the weekends, I also wanted my kids to act like the perfectly-behaved-lake-children I had concocted in my head. Ya know, the kids who don’t fight with each other in the pool, the kids who don’t complain about what they’ll eat for dinner, the ones who don’t ask to go tubing four hundred hours at a time. The kids who simply have manners of royalty and go along with anything asked of them. See also: not my kids.
Listen, my kids are ABSOLUTELY fine. They’re good kids. They DO have manners, though they certainly forget them at times. Any struggle with changing our routine is definitely a “me thing” and something I am constantly learning to work through.
Is it anxiety? I have no idea. But I became even more aware of it this summer. How was I at a gorgeous place with the ONLY humans on earth that truly matter, and STILL struggling with feeling confident and comfortable enough to enjoy the time there? I am thankful for RM stretching me beyond my comfort zones, because I ALWAYS end up having an awesome time!
Here’s to the moms who struggle with similar feelings…may we embrace the chaos, enjoy the change in scenery, and allow ourselves to live in the moment. May we realize that our kiddos are only young once, and that the weekends away with them are just as important as the weekends at home. Laundry and carpet lines can wait. May we remember that a spotless house is not as important to our Littles as the memories we make with them. Relax, Mom.